


Imagine That

by ImpishHaechan



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Burns, First Aid, Friends to Lovers, House Party, M/M, Masturbation, Painplay, Revenge porn but its not what you think!, Rimming, Scars, Smut, actual sex, but not as rowdy as to require a content warning, just one, just some real rowdy boys, like medium rowdy, side Han and Renjun, side hyunlix, they play flip cup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-10-23
Packaged: 2020-10-11 10:40:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,726
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20544800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImpishHaechan/pseuds/ImpishHaechan
Summary: “Yeah Jeongin you can still be perfectly fine as a virgin in college. Like Seungmin’s a virgin and he’s fine your not gonna die.” Felix said it good-naturedly but Seungmin stiffened in Changbin’s periphery.“What?” Seungmin asked“I'm just trying to show Jeongin that having anal sex with someone is not urgent, that he'll be fine being a virgin.”“Felix I agree with that sentiment whole-heartedly, yes you are still 100% whole as a virgin, but the only thing is I'm not a virgin”orChangbin always just assumed that Seungmin was a virgin and after a shocking discovery and seeing something he probably shouldn't have, he starts to see the younger male differently.





	1. Seeing is Believing

**Author's Note:**

> PSA [CONTRIBUTE PLEASE BLM](https://moreblminfo.carrd.co/)
> 
> This is entirely self-indulgent and they all might be ooc but I can't bring myself to care.  
Thanks to Eli for being my sounding board.

Living with Minho was pretty chill most of the time. The older boy wasn’t perfectly neat but he didn’t let the dishes in the sink pile up, and he kept most of his mess in his room so the common spaces were usually pretty clean. He had his friends over a lot, but not only did he and Changbin share the same friend group for the most part, but when he did have people Changbin didn’t know over he was pretty good about chilling in his own room and closing the door. So yeah most of the time it was a pretty peaceful existence. ‘Most of the time’ being the operative phrase because despite looking the opposite Minho’s one weakness was that he was too nice. 

Case in point being right now, Minho, Changbin, Jisung, Felix, and Seungmin were supposed to be having a movie night and be watching Space Jam and The Goonies but that was all on hold ever since Felix arrived with an emotionally distressed Jeongin instead of the vegetable platter he was supposed to bring. And now Minho was doing his thing, his secretly too nice thing. Changbin wouldn't throw Jeongin out, he’s not a monster, if Changbin was in charge he would get the guy some food and invite him to watch the movie with them and let him cuddle up against his side without comment but no, Minho was in charge. So instead of having a movie night, Minho was listening with rapt attention as Jeongin ranted, to his right Felix held his hand and cooed. Seungmin, Jisung, and Changbin were left uncomfortably on the sidelines, sympathetic but also very aware of the plans they were supposed to be having. 

“And the worst part is it was a really fun night. Like HE approached ME and he was clearly into it, he was hard as a rock and you should have heard the noises he was making-” 

“Ew, innie don't” Seungmin interjected. 

“Don’t worry your frigid heart Seungmin because that pretty much as far as we get. We finally get horizontal and he’s grinding on me like he’s the horny teenager and we are making out and he’s using too much tongue but it’s whatever, it’s fine, you know I can get over that, but then he finds out I'm a virgin and it’s a whole thing. He’s all like ‘I should have known’, and ‘im not into deflowering 18 year olds’ and like I can somehow control this situation hello? You came on to me? And then he fucking hits me with ‘this could have really worked if you had more experience, but im not gonna be that guy’ and he just leaves?” Jeongin was panting by the end and out of breath from rambling. 

“Fuck that guy” Jisung contributed.

“Yeah he’s not worth your time Innie” Seungmin said earnestly

“You can do way better” Changbin chimed in

Jeongin got a promise to kill on his behalf from Minho and various other words of comfort but it took one comment from Felix to really set him off:

“You don’t want to lose your virginity to a guy like that anyway, your first time should be special!” 

Felix said it with nothing but kindness but it seemed to light a fire in Jeongin. “But that’s just it! I don’t want it to be special I just want it to be over with. Ughh I don’t care about it I just want it to be done so I can have normal sex preferably all the time!”

“But you deserve for it to be special!” Felix insisted. 

“There’s no need to rush things like this” Minho reassured

“Yeah, Jeongin you can still be perfectly fine as a virgin in college. Like Seungmin’s a virgin and he’s fine your not gonna die.” Felix said it good naturedly but Seungmin stiffened in Changbin’s periphery. 

“What?” Seungmin asked

“I'm just trying to show Jeongin that having anal sex with some is not urgent, that hel'l be fine being a virgin.”

“Felix I agree with that sentiment whole-heartedly, yes you are still 100% whole as a virgin, but the only thing is I'm not a virgin” 

“What? You aren't” Jisung asked incredulously

"No? Why would you think I'm a virgin?”

“Seungmin you don’t have to lie it’s nothing to be ashamed about” Minho said with kindness. 

“I agree but I'm not lying. I have had sex before.”

“Seungmin its okay buddy” Jisung replied. 

“Yeah everything's fine because I'm not a virgin” Seungmin insisted.

“I don't know for someone who’s definitely had sex your acting pretty defensive about it.” Jisung shrugged, sceptical. 

“I'm just confused because I’ve totally had sex?” Seungmin was blushing.

“Sure” Minho smiled, Changbin recognized that tone from when caddy girls tried to talk to the elder. 

“Really!” Sungmin insisted he was definitely getting annoyed. 

“Seungmin I believe you” Felix said earnestly, smiling and tugging on his sleeve. 

“What about you?” Seungmin said turning to Jeongin and then Changbin. Changbin looked away, he had always assumed Seungmin was a virgin and truth be told it was hard to imagine him any other way. Jeongin looked at Seungmin head on, never afraid to speak his mind. 

“I always thought you were a virgin since you’re such a prude. You know, about how people speak and stuff” 

Seungmin huffed. “Just because I don’t like vulgar language doesn't mean I'm a virgin.”

“I never see you at parties or places where people find hookups” Jisung mumbled.

“Just because I'm not constantly hooking up with people doesn't mean im a virgin” Seungmin reiterated. 

“Well Seugmin if you have had sex how many people have you had sex with.”

Seungmin blushed at that closing his mouth and then timidly opening it “um 2?”

Jeongin piped up: “Is that a question?” 

“No- I just- it’s embarrassing!” Seungmin was violently red now. 

“So who was it?” Felix asked, shifting away from Jeongin now facing Seungmin. 

“What?”

“Who did you lose it to? who was the second guy?” Felix asked leaning forward.

“Um, haha the first guy was actually a german exchange student during high school, his name was Yangyang. And the second-” he paused and took a breath “was Yukhei remember you guys met him, we dated for a bit last year?”

“You and Lucas had sex?” Jisung asked incredulously. 

“Who’s Yukhei, who’s Lucas?” Jeongin asked looking around. Changbin took pity on him. 

“He's on water polo? Tall as hell, decently popular, loud. He has like three names but most people call him Lucas or Yukhei.” 

“We dated for two months why is it so hard to believe we had sex?” Seungmin said throwing up his hands. 

“The rumor spread around was that you guys broke up because you wouldn't put out.” Minho said carefully. 

“What?”

“Seungmin you cannot be that surprised that everyone thought you were a virgin,” Jisung said clearly getting a little tired of this conversation. 

“I can be surprised because-” Seungmin cut himself off by taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, when he opened them again they seemed to be filled with resolve “Whatever it doesn’t matter, I'm gonna go by the veggie platter and chips we are missing, when I get back its movie time.” 

And just like that Seungmin was gone out of the apartment, he didn't seem mad per se, more like annoyed but Changbin wasn’t the best at reading people. 

“What do you guys think?” Jeongin asked looking around, “do you believe him?” 

“Of course I believe him, he’s our mate he wouldn't lie to us!” Felix said. 

“I love Seungmin but there no way that man is not a virgin.” Jisung said leaning back. 

“You really don’t believe him?” Felix asked looking from Jisung to Minho. 

“I mean Lix, it just doesn’t add up. He was way too defensive.” Minho stated. 

“Wouldn't he have told us sooner if he had?” Jeongin questioned. 

Felix turned to Changbin, “well what about you, Binnie you believe him right?”

“Sorry Lix, but I just can’t imagine it.”

___

  
  


He wouldn't have to.

___

Changbin wasn’t a party guy, mostly because (call him a snob sure) he usually didn’t care for the music. He had been to a couple of really cool ones at the international house last term, it turned out Icelandic trap fucking slapped, but beyond that he couldn't bring himself to slog through the constant need for oldies. Changbin loved Toxic as much as any other self-respecting bisexual but it had gone too far, every party played that and ABBA’s greatest hits at least six times and the novelty had long worn off. He just wanted to listen to some actually good, blood pumping, mosh pitting, aggressive grinding music. He was pretty confident that Wooyoung would not disappoint.

Wooyoung was a grade A rowdy boy, he went to way more parties than Changbin and tended to go home with more people too, but his roommate Mingi only let him and his roommates Yeosang, San and Yunho throw them twice a term. At Wooyoung’s last party Jisung drunk off his ass had chugged the horrible concoction Yeosang had made by mixing all the leftover liquor and beer from the drinking rooms into one five gallon container. Jisung had drank it, winked at Renjun the graceful danceur and Jisung’s current crush, before vomiting violently all over the floor and himself. Changbin had spent the whole night after in uncontrollable laughter with Minho as they cleaned up Jisung and then helped Wooyoung clean up his place. It was awesome and Changbin couldn't wait for round two. 

Changbin turned to Chan as they walked up the sidewalk to Wooyoung’s place. It was one of those shitty houses that was clearly designed for a cute family of four when it was constructed in the 1930s but now it had fallen into some disrepair and was populated by 5 college boys who couldent give a shit about the cracks in the brick or the falling shingles. 

“Hey do you think Jisung still has a crush on that Renjun kid?”

“I thought he had gotten over it but he made me text Yunho and ask him if he was invited.”

“God Jisung's a mess.”

“Bro we all are” 

Set up went pretty well. It mostly consisted of helping to carry the couches to the back and arrange them around the stack of wood that would inevitably be a bonfire later in the night. Once the couches were gone they rolled up the rugs, swept the floors and set up the DJ station. Chan had a set later in the night he was excited about and Changbin didn’t have to feign excitement when he promised him he would stick around. 

They had enough time for Changbin to sneak upstairs to a bathroom and put on some eyeliner and replace his studs for more aggressive earrings before they started pregaming. They pregamed by each taking a shot and then playing flip cup in teams of three vs three. Chan despite yelling the loudest, and jumping up and down as he impatiently waited for his turn, was the worst. By a longshot. They lost every round, but no one really cared because the goal with flip cup is rarey to win, the goal, usually in changbins case at least, was to get drunk. And drunk they were, drunk enough that by the time people started arriving at eleven they already had a small mosh of just them and a few other friends that had shown up early. 

By eleven forty the party was in full swing, the makeshift dance floor flooded with messy limbs and swaying bodies. By twelve fourteen Changbin was coated in sweat, his t-shirt sticking to his chest uncomfortably, his legs felt totally suffocated in the confines of his black jeans, and his combat boots while rad as hell certainly didn't help the situation. Changbin was hot. Changbin couldn't wait until it was three in the morning and everyone was significantly drunker and higher and lost all their inhibitions and danced like the maniacs they were. He decided to take a break until then.

Changbin wandered off the floor heading towards the kitchen. Yeosang was monitoring drinks for the moments and he handed Changbin another solo cup full of jungle juice. The elder also looked around before opening the fridge and grabbing a blue gatorade and tossing it to Changbin, “Drink up dude you look like shit.” Changbin caught the bottle one handed, and impressive feat when your drunk, and shot Yeosang a scathing look but was thankful nonetheless.

Changbin with drinks in both hands made his way outside, he had to open the doors with his hip and was pretty proud of himself for not spilling any of his Jungle Juice. He spotted Felix, Jisung sitting next to some guy he couldn't see and- oh shit was that Renjun? It was. Changbin made his way over and sat down in between Felix and the guy he couldn't see who ended up being Lucas. 

Felix and Lucas were cackling at something Jisung had said and even Renjun was smiling, drink in hand, back straight, even drunk he was graceful. Changbin kind of understood Jisung’s infatuation. Also, Renjun might be the only guy at this party who was shorter than Changbin and Jisung and that always felt nice. 

“Changbin!!” Felix cheered, eyes bright and smile wide and open mouthed the way it was when Felix was properly drunk. “You know Renjun right?”

“We’ve talked once or twice” CHangbin said sticking his hand up in a sort of half wave. Renjun brought his hand up close to his face and sort of waved back. 

“And this is Lucas! You know him right?” Felix continued still smiling. 

“Yeah Seungmin’s ex right?” Changbin said, he might not have said that if he was less drunk. But in his current state its all his brain supplied to him. Jisung gasped, scandalized, but Lucas just chuckled warmly. 

“Thats me” he smiled and laughed. 

“Oh my god” Jisung eyes widened as he spoke and Changbin was already suspicious. “Maybe you can answer something for us then.”

“Jisung don’t” Felix cut in no longer smiling. 

“What is it?” Lucas asked, earnestly, honestly big eyes questioning. 

“Felix it won't hurt anyone come on! Anyway Seungmin tried to tell us that he's not a virgin the other day, and you might be the only person who can 100% tell us. He’s a virgin right? Isn’t that why you broke up?” By the time he finished Felix had leaned across the couch to slap his thigh repeatedly, drunkenly batting at it like a kitten batting away an offending hand. 

“He broke up with me actually, it was a bad fit. I was busy, he was busy but I was shit at making time for him.” Lucas laughed then, but instead of light and loud like his previous laughter had been this one was a little sad, weighed down. “And yeah hes not a virgin, we actualy had sex twice before we even got together.”

“Really?” Felix asked, even he was over pretending not to be surprised. 

“Yeah he tutored me in Chem and it just sort of happened. Twice. And then I asked him out.” Lucas said, his eyes somewhere else. 

“Whelp I guess that settles that.” Jisung said, “I feel sort of bad for not believing him.”

Renjun put a hand on his knee, “he’s your friend he will forgive you.”

“Thanks for clearing that up bro” Changbin said turning to Lucas. 

“No problem man! I thought he was a virgin when I met him too but then he sucked dick like a pornstar-” Changbin and Jisung both choked on their drinks and Felix and Renjun broke out into startled laughter as Lucas continues “and that sort of settled it.” 

“Ew!” Felix said still laughing. 

Lucas only smiled, cheeky, “Sorry did I say too much?”

“There hasn't been a single time in all that I’ve known you where you were too vague about something.” Renjun said laughing. The conversation then turned from Seungmin to everyone playfully ribbing Lucas, and then from there to ribbing everyone else. Renjun impersonated Jisungs drunk wink and vomit and everyone laughed at Jisung’s bright red face. 

Suddenly Felix stand up, “Oh my god”

Changbin looks up at him, “What?”

Felix turns to Renjun and Jisung, “It’s that song! That fucking song whats it called?”

Jisung cocks his head to the side but Renjun stands up excitedly “Holly fuck its that tiktok one” Hes jumping up and down pointing to Felix. 

“Yeah, the fucking Dun dun na nun nun nun” Renjun quckly joins in singing with Felix. 

“Oh my god, we have to go dance!” Renjun exclaims looking at the group. 

“Yes, let's go!” Felix all but shrieks. 

“I'm still recovering,” Changbin says, putting his hands up and showing off his gatorade. 

“I think I’ll stay out here” Jisung said, shrugging, his eyes were downcast and he rocked his black boots back and forths on the ground. 

“Nuh uh” Renjun said, his voice becoming slightly whiny from the alcohol, “You have to dance with me”

Jisung looked up, shock written clearly across his face but he recovered quickly smiling cockily, “I  _ have _ to dance with you?” Jisung asked, he was mocking Renjun but his eyes were still twinkling. 

“Just come on” Renjun huffed taking his arm and pulling him inside with him and Felix. 

Lucas looked at them fondly, “Ah young love”

Changbin raised his eyebrows, “they’re like a year younger than us”

“And so so cute” Lucas cooed. 

“Why didn't you go with them?” Changbin asked, he wasn’t used to seeing Lucas outside the dance floor at a party. Now that he thought of it he was sure the only time he had seen the taller male at parties he was either Dancing, making out with someone against a wall, or on a rare occasion streaking in the backyard. 

Lucas wordlessly pointed down and Changbin followed his finger to see a large black boot that went from just under his knee all the way down.

“I just got off my crutches earlier this week so I don’t want to push it” He said shrugging and smiling his big crooked smile. 

“How did I miss that?” Changbin asked. 

“It s’okay man.” Lucas replied easily in english, he switched back to Korean to say: “your drunk, I don’t think we’ve ever talked sober.”

“I think we were sober when you went out to dinner with Seungmin and us last year? When he introduced us to you?” Changbin asked, that night had been fun but it was weighed down by how stressed all of them had been during that period last year. 

“Yeah we were sober for dinner but I don’t think any of us were sober for your show after” Lucas laughed, Changbin joined him. 

“Dude I wasnt sober for my show after”. 

“That night was awesome. You guys were so nice, and Seungmin was so relieved it went well, and then your show was awesome and then Seungmin stayed the night at mine and let me hit it from behind, and then in the morning we had breakfast before class, it was such an awesome night.” Lucas smiled as he sighed, meanwhile Changbin choked on his Gatorade. 

“God I just can’t get used to that. I can’t even picture it.”

Lucas laughed and pulled out his phone. “I swear he’s not a virgin, he actually just as horny as the rest of the world if you can believe it”, “Like here” Lucas was opening snapchat, he swiped down to memories and swiped left, once, twice, three times, to “My Eyes Only”. 

Changbin scoffed as he entered his code “1111 very secure”.

Lucas smiled “whatever man” and looked through before turning the phone fully to Changbin to show him a picture. It was Seungmin, wearing a baggy shirt that definitely wasn’t his and staring in the mirror, the shirt had slipped so his collar bones were showing as well as miles of smooth tanned legs. The simple caption just read “want you”. 

“Damn” Changbin let out a low whistle. 

“But that’s not all” Lucas swiped right a couple of times and it was a video. The same shirt as before except now it was so so different. 

The video showcased a man on all fours head hung low, as the person behind him mercilessly pounded into him. The only way Changbin could tell it was Seungmin was for one the same threadbare white shirt as before dawned his frame except now it was rucked up to his shoulder blades, and the sounds, whines really, leaving the boys mouth were undeniably Seungmin. Lucas had one big hand framing Seungmin’s waist as he thrusted, one of Lucas’s hands was nearly big enough to span Seungmin’s waist at the thinnest part. Seungmin’s thin arms were shaking with effort to keep him up at the pure force Lucas was exerting him but he continued to mewl and rock back into it. Lucas was saying things, encouragements Changbin was sure but he couldn't really process the tinny words from Lucas’s Iphone speaker, far too focused on the image in front of him. Seungmin desperate and whiny and unbelievably hot. Seungmin in the video whined particularly loud and then whimpered in his sweet nasally voice “Xuxi, Xuxi, Xuxi please harder.” The camera fumbled in Lucas’s hand and the video quickly ended presumably to past Lucas, the luckiest man in the world, could get back to what he was doing. Who he was doing. 

“Holy shit” Changbin whispered, mostly to himself. 

“I know right? And I’m telling you it was like that every time he loved to put on a show.” Lucas said already pocketing his phone and taking another huge sip from his Solo cup. 

“I did not expect it but Kim Seungmin is certainly not a virgin”. Lucas only laughed. Suddenly inside the song shifted to something Changbin immediately recognized but couldn't remember where from. He nodded along to the beat and then right as the chorus hit, he remembered, “SHIT! Chan’s set!” Changbin stood up sloshing what was left of his drink on his shirt, and turned to Lucas, “Sorry bro, nice talking to you but I gotta go!”. 

Lucas tugged on Changbins arm before he could go, “I probably shouldn't have shown you that video.” He said sheepishly but still drunk so it just looked sort of funny, Lucas’s face didn’t hold shame well. 

“You probably shouldn't have but Im glad you did,” Changbin was sincere, “But I gotta go see you around”. Lucas waved with two fingers as Changbin jetted into the house. 

____

Changbin woke up with a mild headache, some scrapes and bruises from dancing a little two hard, and a guilty conscious. He shouldn't have seen that picture, shouldn't have egged Lucas on,  _ really  _ shouldn't have seen that video.

God that video. Every time he closed his eyes, the back of his eyelids were painted with the image of Seungmin, needy and desperate, scraggly arms quaking as he begged for more. Lucas was and idiot, just putting his hand on Suengmins waist, Changbin would be guiding his hips back so it hit extra hard, or maybe even letting one hand wander to play with Seungmin’s nipples. He bet they were extra sensitive, everything else on Seungmin seemed sensitive. His neck, his thin but plush thighs, his nipples, his pretty pink cock- Changbin needed to stop. 

Changbin needed to stop because Seungmin was his friend, his kind of annoying, mostly funny, sarcastic, Clever, Innocent friend. He was supposed to think of him fondly, smile at him exasperatedly when him and Jisung were being too much, curse him out playfully when he beat Changbin at Mario Cart, pinch his sides when he was least expecting it, he wasn’t supposed to be thinking about this. 

About fucking him, slow at first and then picking up to an unbearble pace without Seungmin having to ask. About slamming into him so hard, so  _ right _ , Seungmins arms don’t just shake, they fail until Suengmin has to rest on his elbows, or better yet nothing at all, helplessly holding his arms out to the side with his head in the pillow. Cheek on the smooth surface of the pillowcase head turned to the side so Changbin could still hear his pretty whimpers and whines from above him. He thought about marking up every inch of his smooth unblemished tanned skin, of ruining his collarbones so if he did decide to be a little minx, a filthy slut, and where a shirt too big for him everyone would know. Kim Seungmin the blushing virgin wanted it, wanted it bad, and he got it rough. 

Changbin thought of the sounds he would make, and then he thought of shutting him up, of plugging his whines and moans with his cock. The way Seungmin’s lips would look stretched around him, and the way his eyes would water as he looked up at the older boy. 

Changbin was hard, had been hard for a while now, but the thought of Seungmin, good obedient, desperate filthy Seungmin ruining himself of Changbin’s cock finally broke his composure. He reached down and pulled his own cock out of his boxers squeezing it at the base before fisting over the head. As Changbin jerked himself quickly he thought of Seungmin, of Seungmin pulling as his dick with long delicate fingers, and thought of Seungmin stroking himself, whining and then he thought of Seungmin giving up and rutting against a pillow on his bed, Whining, eyes closed as he desperately humped the pillow and Changbin picked up his pace on his own dick. 

In his mind, Changbin pictured Seungmin desperately humping his pillow and reaching one slick finger behind himself to play with his hole. Seungmin would be so vocal, so loud he was sure, the boy was so loud in everything he did, laughing loudly, nagging loudly, surely he would fall apart loudly. And in Changbin’s mind, he did, he keened and screamed and jerked violently as he came all over his white pillow case. Changbin came too, over his fist and sleep shirt. 

He tucked his softening dick away, shucked off his soiled shirt and tossed it in the laundry bin before reaching to step into some comfy sweatpants and head out to the main section of the apartment to grab some water and advil, feeling hungover and more than a little guilty.

Except instead of the sight he expected, of Minho with bedhead and his glasses but no pants shovelling cereal in his mouth at their kitchen island, Changbin was in for a surprise. 

Because there, next to Minho, at their island sat Kim Seungmin with a cup of coffee, animatedly telling a story, smiling widely to Minho. His eyes lit up when he saw Changbin. 

“Good morning Changbin! It was really nice of you and Minho to let me stay for the weekend!”

Fuck. 


	2. Reach Out and Touch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungmin just wants to know why things have suddenly shifted between him and Changbin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is from Seungmin's perspective!!! ___ represents a small time-jump and *** represents a perspective change. I only use *** once and it's towards the end to go into CHangbin's perspective because writing from Seungmin's perspective is weirdly hard for me. 
> 
> Hey if you have a fear of burns the most graphic description starts after "He hated looking at it" and ends at "How do you know so much about burn treatment?"
> 
> This was not what anyone expected but here we are. Please mind the updated tags.

Living with Felix was pretty ideal. He was a virgo and he acted like it, he kept the house in a pretty good system, shoes went in an over the door shoe organizer in the coat closet, dirty clothes were kept in the hamper sorted in light and dark to be done on Tuesdays, compost was kept in old yogurt containers on top of the fridge. He didn't go so far as to label the food in the fridge with dates, or as far to separate the cereal from the box and put in a separate cereal container, but it was a near thing. Felix was always making Seungmin better, getting him to come out of his shell, and be more honest about his emotions, in return Seungmin was helping Felix learn to stand up for himself. They were good friends and good roommates, the only problem came in the form of Felix’s boyfriend. 

Hyunjin and Felix had been dating since the second week of freshman year. They had met and instantly fell in love and become inseparable, Hyunjin loved Felix but he hated college, the school was a bad fit for him and he agonized for months whether or not to transfer. Felix and Hyunjin had fought and cried and Seungmin had bared witness to all of it as they took turns crying on his dorm bed. Eventually Hyunjin decided to transfer to another university six and a half hours away, and left with about as much extravagant fan fair as expected: Felix and Minho threw a big going away party just for him. Felix had spent almost the whole night dancing too close to him or sitting in his lap and the next morning when it was time for the real goodbye Felix was there, sweatshirt clad with a puffy bare face, smiling despite the tears as he hugged goodbye. 

It was all a little dramatic for Seungmin’s taste. They face timed everynight for about two hours, and texted constantly, but all that wasn’t what made Felix an un-ideal roommate. No, what made Felix not quite the perfect roommate was when the did meet up once a month. Every other month, once a month Felix went and spent the weekend at Hyunjin’s and it was delightful, Seungmin would prance around the apartment scantily clad or sing loudly to his favorite songs as he cooked. He loved those times, what Seungmin disliked was when Hyunjin would visit Felix. 

When Hyunjin visited Felix they took “all over each other” to another level. Loudly hooking up all over the apartment and in Felix’s room with little regard to weather Seungmin’s there at all. Seungmin has since decided to spend a couple of nights at a friends when Hyunjin comes over, it’s just not worth it. 

Last time Seungmin had stayed with Chan and Yugyeom, it had mostly gone well, except for how loud Chan was when he came home early in the morning from the studio, but Seungmin didn’t really have room to complain when he was the one sleeping on their couch. 

And so Seungmin found himself here, at the Lee-Seo’s breakfast counter about to spend the weekend with the guy he had a big fat embarrassing crush on and Lee Minho, the devil incarnate. 

___

Seungmin didn’t really understand why he liked Changbin. His humor was _ weird _ he laughed slightly out of pace from other people, when him and Minho were together their banter was completely unrecognizable from others, it was simply them, and it never failed to make Seungmin smile. Around Changbin especially he found himself breaking into spontaneous uncontrollable laughter, the kind that was just as much an exclamation of surprise as it was a signal of enjoyment. 

Seungmin had grown self-conscious of his own laugh, when he was surprised it was especially nasally and Felix and Jisung never failed to rib him about it, Changbin usually didn't, the older would smile at him crooked, Seungmin didn't know what it meant. He wanted to know what Changbin’s various smiles meant, he wanted to understand them. 

He liked his music, he always had, when he had met Changbin last year beyond being slightly intimidated like every person that meets Changbin he was intrigued by his music. They had met at one of Changbin and Chan’s shows at a house party, Felix had dragged him along as he was already friends with Changbin through Chan. Seungmin met them the same night Jisung did, it was historical for them, Jisung, Changbin and Chan met that night and thus began the start of their collaboration. That night was historical for Seungmin too, that when his crush on Changbin was planted. It was tiny then, more of a friend crush really, he was cool when he rapped, he commanded attention and respect in a way Seungmin never could. He was funny afterwards too, the way he rolled his eyes at Chan and teasingly called Felix names. 

So, Seungmin had a small tiny barely noticeable crush. Miniscule really. All it really did was make him want to hang around with the elder more, so he did until they were fully embedded in each others social circles, part of the same friend group hanging out at least three times a week, sometimes alone even. They would study together, sort of, Seungmin would work through his intro to comp sci homework, and Changbin would work on his music theory work.

Changbin liked to sit in the lowest floor of the library in between shelves of national geographic copies dating back to the 1940s and the microfiche machines, at a small folding table with fold out metal chairs. 

It was ridiculous, there were more comfortable chairs up stairs with better lighting and more accessible power outlets that didn’t look like they would shock you if you got within a five foot radius, but Changbin preferred it this way.

“Everyone’s watching you upstairs, I feel like an animal in a zoo up there, no one comes down here it’s great you could do anything down here and no one would care” Changbin had ranted when Seungmin had pointed it out, he continued “we could literally have sex down here and no one would notice!” Seungmin has gasped and blushed and spluttered all while Changbin had smirked at making the younger male flustered. 

Changbin had definetly said it just to fuck with Seungmin, but he couldent stop thinking about it. About Changbin bending him over that shitty card table and blowing his mind. 

And now he was going to be spending a weekend at his house. 

___

Seungmin _ really _wished he had a room to hide in. He liked to go in his room and pace, and then curl up in the corner when he really got like this: embarrassed, flustered, ashamed. Except now he had no room to escape to. And he couldn't hide in the bathroom forever, Minho and Changbin shared one, and Seungmin was a lot of things but selfish wasn’t one of them. 

So, yes he had stared too much when Changbin entered the kitchen shirtless this morning. And sure he had stumbled through conversation and stuttered over words more than usual. And, yes, his face looked like a tomato the entire time, but it wasn't the end of the world. At least that’s what Seungmin told himself. 

That wasn’t the worst part though. No, the worst part was that Changbin looked genuinely uncomfortable. It must have been obvious to him how much he affected Seungmin, The only explanation was that Seungmin did something to make Changbin uncomfortable, right? And gosh uncomfortable in his own home? God, Seungmin was the worst type of person. 

And on top of all that, Minho had excused himself after breakfast and headed off to work in all black ready sweep hair from the floor of a salon and answer calls for the next nine hours. He had left Seungmin alone with Changbin, traitor. 

Seungmin looked in the mirror one last time before leaving the bathroom. His blue sweatshirt was piling up a little around the collar and at the bottom of the sleeves but other that that it looked fine. His jeans were his second favorite jeans, an important distinction to Seungmin and Suengmin alone. His favorite pair of jeans were black and had small rips, tears really, that made him feel powerful. These jeans were still nice but they were plain. Seungmin looked in the mirror, he felt plain. 

He always sort of thought he had a nothing face. Nothing on it was offensive, he didn't have overly thin or overly thick lips, his nose wasn’t big, or crooked, or squashed, and his eyes weren't too big or too small. Nothing about it was offensive but also nothing about it was remarkable. Nothing to write home about. A nothing face. 

So Seungmin looked in the mirror, past the nothing, to see if anything was amiss. His eyes were a little red, his contacts had been bugging him all day more than normally, if he was at home he would just take them out and thrown on his glasses, but something stopped him. That something was two people, Yang Jeongin and Seo Changbin. 

Jeongin was not one to mince words and he had told Seungmin frankly on multiple occasions just how bad he looked in his glasses. “It’s not like you just get worse, or a little uglier dude, its like you get body snatch by a gremlin. Like your a normal looking guy and then you put on your glasses and bam your like something from my nightmares.” Yeah that was a phrase he wasn’t soon to forget. And the other reason? Changbin hadn’t seen him with his glasses yet and he didn't intend to embarrass himself in front of the older male twice in one day if he could help it. 

___

If Seungmin was Minho he would know a lot of things. He would know what to do when your cat starts stress puking (ration their portions slowly over the day and cut them by a little bit), he would know how to put on one of those complicated harness things that Minho liked to wear sometimes when he went out, he would know how to use a goddamn french press. More pertinent perhaps he would know certain things about Changbin.

He would know that Changbin didn't like to pause a tv show or movie if he had to run to the bathroom in the middle. He would know that Changbin practiced mindfulness every morning and meditated once a week. He would know that when something was on Changbin’s mind he would make tea. Changbin would boil water in a pot on the stove, they still didn't have a real kettle, let it sit off to the side for a minute and then turn around and transfer it to the sink where he would pour it into his thermos and add one lemon ginger tea bag and 1 teaspoon of honey. He had a system, and if Seungmin was Minho he would have known that. 

___

Seungmin stared at Changbin. He was doing something, fiddling around at the stove, on god knows what. Minho was gone, and Seungmin didn’t have any urgent homework, he should _ talk _to Changbin god damnit, they were friends, they talked all the time. Seungmin didn’t know why but it felt different this weekend, everything felt charged in a way it never was before. Seungmin had to keep reminding himself that nothing had changed, they were still friends feeling anything else was just him being paranoid or maybe wishful thinking. Seungmin steeled himself. Changbin was starting to turn around holding something, god he was going to catch Seungmin just watching him from three feet way like a creep think fast- 

“Hey whatcha making!” Seungmin blurted out aiming for excited and landing somewhere near panicked. 

What happened next Seungmin could have sworn happened in slow motion. The words tumbled out of Seungmins mouth too sharp and discordant in the quiet air of the kitchen and Changbin startled. Changbin tripped falling forward slowly and Seungmin rushed forward to help him. Changbin managed to right himself before he fell but dropped whatever he was holding to do so. What he was holding was a kitchen pot and the water inside sloshed out over top as it fell and Seungmin watched helplessly as the still steaming water hit his leg. 

Seungmin didn’t feel like his leg was on fire, he felt like he was lava, molten core being melted, he could feel the first few layers of his skin flay right off. He cried out losing his footing and falling back against the fridge, he closed his eyes and felt his world close to zero in on his leg. Nothing else registered except the burning sensation on his thigh. 

Then there was something else. Changbins voice and his arms encircling Seungmin’s bicep. “Oh my god Minnie? Minnie? Are you okay?”

Suengmin gasped “My leg”.

“I’m going to take you to the couch so we can look at it okay?” Seungmin grunted in affirmation, tears slipping down his face hot uncontrollable. 

“Fuck shit, oh my god” Seungmin said, he felt everything else coming back to him slowly, shock ebbing replaced by searing pain. 

“There you are” Changbin said huffing. “I hate when you go silent”, Seungmin didn’t have the brain capacity to think about anything that wasn’t ‘MY FUCKING LEG’ but he filed that way to revisit later. 

“Is this okay?” Changbin had pick Seungmin up one arm around his shoulder one arm hooked under the knee of his right non-injured leg. It sent pain shooting to his left leg as it dangled limply but Seungmin would rather step on nails than have Changbin touch his left leg right now so he grunted affirmatively and Changbin marcher over to the couch setting Seungmin down delicately. 

Despite how gentle Changbin was being Seungmin still hissed when he was sat down, the pain became overwhelming every time his left leg was even slightly jostled. 

“We need to take off your pants” Changbin’s voice sounded clinical but Seungmin could see the blush on his cheeks. Seungmin took a breath this was not the time to get overwhelmed by this. 

“You’re going to have to help me”, Changbin just nodded. They way they found was for Seungmin to support himself mostly on his right leg and to loop both arms around Changbin’s neck for balance and support. Like this they were face to face, especially when Seungmin was hunched down, then Changbin unbuttoned Seungmin’s jeans with slightly clumsy fingers. 

He was trying to be swift but that only made him fumble more. Changbin took a breath and Seungmin could feel it in the rise of his shoulders. He finally got the button and zip undone and he slowly started working the jeans down. He had to bend down slightly which caused Seungmin to shift so he was leaning more on Changbins back then his shoulders, his dick inches from Changbin’s face. 

Changbin go his pants past his boxers and Seungmin cried out, he was inches from the burn now and the pain was sharp and overwhelming. Changbin slowly lowered it more so just the top of the burn was revealed and Seungmin wailed. High and nasally, he didn’t even care that it was Changbin all he could think about was the throbbing in his thigh, his tears were falling with force when Changbin started to pull them down again he screamed, and then “Wait stop please stop I need-” He sobbed “I need a moment”. Changbin stilled. 

“I’m so sorry. The faster I go the sooner it’s over.” Seungmin could feel Changbins breath hitting his leg and the cool air was sobering. Seungmin took a deep breath and nodded into Changbins back, he was fully hunched over now. 

“Ok do it.” Seungmin screamed into Changbins back as he pulled down his pants the rest to the way, quick like a bandaid and so incredibly painful. Changbin set him back down on the couch and exhaled when he saw his burn, Seungmin looked down and oof. It didnt look pretty. 

The skin was mottled and the burn had taken a splotchy shape, the normally tan and smooth skin was bright white and already raised and angry. The skin that had peeled was curling in on itself. Seungmin gasped “We need to put it under cool water”. 

Without saying anything Changbin dashed to the bathroom and Seungmin could hear the sound of the bath being turned on. When Changbin came back and surveyed Seungmin, Seungmin imagined it was quite the sight. Red irritated tear filled eyes set into splotchy puffy cheeks. Mouth set into a grimace, wearing a big blue sweatshirt and navy boxer briefs and nothing else. And of course his leg. His fucking leg. 

“How do we wanna do this?” 

Seungmin looked down and tentatively grabbed his own leg, stabilizing it behind the knee with one hand. If he could just keep it still he thought it wouldn't be quite so hellish. “Do you think you can carry me? I’ll hold the bad leg but do you think you can handle the rest of me?” 

Changbin huffed “Yeah of course you weigh like nothing.”

“Im 5’10 I way like something” Changbin walked over looping Seungmin’s free arm around his neck and grabbing his good leg behind the knee. Seungmin squeaked when Changbin picked him up, surprised and much more coherent this time around. 

“Nothing” Changbin gloated as he carried the younger male to bathroom. The world started spinning and Seungmin felt a wave of nausea hit him. Seungmin closed his eyes when he started to get dizzy and clamped his hand tighter into Changbin’s shoulder. He wasn’t used to feeling so out of control. 

“What’s wrong what's happening” Changbin’s voice had lost a lot of its color, he didn't sound so smug. Seungmin preferred when he was smug. 

Seungmin rested his head against Changbin’s chest, he felt out of it and he trusted his friend to take care of him. “Dizzy” Seungmin breathed into Changbin’s chest. 

“I got you.” Seungmin feels himself being lowered and when he opens his eyes Changbin has sat him in the side of the tub, and Seungmin exhaled through his nose. Seungmin immediately started taking off his socks and Changbin helped and then Changbin tugged at Seungmins hood and he felt it slip off his shoulders it wasn't until it was almost all the way off that Seungmin realized what was happening. 

“ wait wait turn around stop!” but it was too late, Changbin had already seen it. and he was staring, his gaze heavy on Seungmin’s exposed chest at the pale scare that carved its way six whole inches down his chest. It was from heart surgery as a toddler but Seungmin didn’t start hating it until he was in middle school. Seungmin wanted to cover himself he brought his knee up protectively wanting to curl in on himself, every part of him wanted to hide away. 

This was all his nightmares and fantasies at once. He was naked with Changbins eyes on him as he watched him squirm in pain and under his gaze. But unlike in his fantasies it wasn’t from Changbin's thick fingers stretching him out it was a disgusting ugly burn, and Changbin wasn't looking at him because he was hot, it was because he was broken and scarred. Jostling his leg only made him want to die, jesus christ it shouldn't be possible to be in so much pain, he swayed and reached his hand out for balance and Changbin caught it. Changbin seemed to snap out of it at this and helped to lower Seungmin into the spray of the cool water. He positioned himself so the cool water was landing on the perimeter of his burn. The water hit his knee and ran down to gently cool his burn. He didn’t feel ready for a direct spray. 

His boxer briefs were soaked in an instant but it was worth it because of the cool feeling soothing over his jagged and burned skin. 

He hissed a breath through his teeth, the water felt good but it was cold and his leg still hurt, he felt exposed, nearly naked, his scar on display unable to do much of anything on his own. 

“Will you turn around?” Changbin whirled around and Seungmin couldn't see his expression anymore but he could have sworn he was blushing. 

“Im Sorry, im really sorry.” Seungmin just huffed. 

“Are you mad at me? For you know…”

“Scalding my leg?”

“Unintentionally!” Changbin sounded whiny and it was enough to make Seungmin briefly forget how embarrassed he was. 

“It’s fine i'm not mad about that” he took a breath, feeling petty “I know that was an accident at least.”

Changbin bristled. “Fuck” 

“I get it, its weird looking. I probably don't help the situation by refusing to show it, makes it seem more weird” 

“What?” he sounded genuinely confused.

“I guess im just frustrated because, well it should be my choice to show it to people.” Seungmin glared at the water where it drained into the tap. His eyes were still wet he wasn’t sure they ever dried. He was in pain and embarrassed and _ so tired _. Of course this had to happen, of course it had to be Changbin. 

“What?” Changbin sounded like a broken record. 

“My chest scar” 

“Oh”

“Yeah” the word was bitter on his tongue and he saw Changbin move as if to turn back around but he stopped himself. Seungmin was grateful. 

“I mean- I guess” He kept stopping and restarting Seungmin could feel his tension, “Im sorry” Changbin finished lamely.

“It’s fine” Seungmin said, and he meant it: It would be fine, he was just sensitive and tired and dealing with a lot right now. 

“Even if its fine im still sorry” oh yeah he was in love with him. It would hit him sometimes, just like that, everything would be normal and then Changbin would do something or say something and he would be hit with it. How much he liked this stupid boy. 

‘Gay’ Seungmin could hear Jeongins annoying voice in his head. God he hung out with him too much. This was all too much. He needed a distraction. He turned the knob all the way cool and scooted forward in the water so the water rushing out of the faucet hit his burn head on, cooling it with and intensity that both made pain bloom behind his eyelids and temporarily numbed the area. 

His mouth fell open in a moan. It just felt so good, the stinging had been constant and been hurting him for so long to then be blissfully cool and numb? It was heavenly. He couldn't stop the high reedy noises leaving his mouth. Eventually he quieted to whimpers until he was just softly breathing. The effect was gone, he just felt kind of pruney. He turned off the water. 

Seungmin crossed his arms over his chest, hiding his scar, “You can turn around if you hand me my sweatshirt”. Changbin gathered up the soft blue material holding it by the hem so he could more easily yank the sweatshirt over his head. Seungmin pouted at him when his head emerged from the hood but Changbin was smiling. Seungmin pushed his arms through the arm holes and tried to stand. He stumbled a bit and grabbed onto Changbin for support catching his hip and one limp hand. He looked down trying to control his breathing and - oh my god there was an obvious tent in Changbins pants. 

Seungmin blinked and looked again. Nope Changbin definitely had a boner oh my god. Seungmin let go of Changbin like he had burned (haha) only to almost slip again, Changbin caught him this time with two hands under his armpits. Seungmin’s shock was momentarily replaced with gratitude. He looked up at Changbin to smile like a fool in love probably but Changbin looked conflicted. 

“Seungminnie are you hard?” Seungmin whipped his head down, oh my god why was he hard. He was vulnerable and humiliated and finally not in searing pain, but was he turned on. Fuck this was all Changbin’s fault. Seungmin took a deep breath, he needed to be rational. He needed to be the practical one because clearly Changbin wasn’t going to be. 

“We are going to talk about this. And that” Seungmin nodded at Changbin’s own erect length, “We are going to talk about all of this, but not yet. I need to bandage my leg, and take some god damn advil and then we can talk about” he took a deep breath “all of this”. 

Changbin was blushing bright red but his voice was steady when he spoke “Okay yeah lets get you taken care of first”, then he seemed to realize how that sounded because he was spluttering, “not like that, I mean like your wound.” He grimaced and Seungmin laughed at him good naturedly. 

“Ah yes my wound how could I forget” 

“Shut up” 

Seungmin decided to play nice for once and drop it, “Hey can you hand me a towel?” Changbin acquiesced handing Seungmin a fluffy cream towel. Seungmin tied the towel around his waist under his sweatshirt and did an awkward shimmy, that can only be learned from years of changing in locker rooms, to slip off his soaked underwear and ball it up in his fist. Changbin was raising his eyebrows at him but Seungmin “Don’t be gross, I just don't want to sit in damp clothes” 

“I didn’t say anything” 

“Whatever just help me somewhere so I can deal with this.” Changbin ended up directing Seungmin to his bedroom so the younger was sitting at the edge of his double bed while Changbin rummaged through his dresser for something. 

“Fuck where is it i swear to- found it!” Changbin twirled around brandishing a car first aid kit, “I stole this from my sisters Honda when she helped me move in, I thought it would be useful”

Seungmin held out his hands and got to work. The kit was pretty nice, it had wrap, gauze, medical tape, antiseptic wipes, antiseptic spray, some various creams and about a million sizes of band-aid. Suengmin laid out what he would need: some burn cream, gauze and tape, and took a deep breath. He partially undid the towel so his affected leg could poke out but he could still keep his modesty and got ready to work. 

“Don’t you need like alcohol to clean it?”

“No I already cleaned it in the bath and the anitseptic is bad for burns it can make them more inflamed” 

“Oh”

“I actually don’t even need the burn cream since it can trap heat but im a pussy and dont wanna be in this much pain all night”, Seungmin started applying the cream gently only using the tips of his fingers to smooth it out over tender jagged skin. He hated looking at it, the blisters had popped in the bath and it was oozing thick yellow pus and the parts that weren't were red and angry with chunks of missing skin making his leg look like the craters on the moon. He hated the texture, it was so ugly looking, so rough, and yet it felt so soft and gooey to the touch. 

“How do you know so much about burn treatment?”

“Don’t laugh”

“I won’t”

“I mean it”

“I won’t!”

“The Red-Cross babysitter's training course” Changbin laughed but Seungmin didn't actually mind, he smiled along with him and measured out the Gauze cutting it with the safety scissors in the kit. He placed it on top of the area and carefully taped the side. He started putting the kit away. His leg still hurt, his head hurt from crying, and his eyes still felt sensitive from his contacts, he still felt very out of sorts but at least he was smiling. 

“What next?”

“Now I need advil, water and my backpack”

“Yes boss” Changbin said with mock enthusiasm and returned a minute later with a glass of water and Seungmin’s backpack. He put the water on the bedside table and pulled a bottle of ibuprofen from his sweatpants pocket and placed the back pack next to Seungmin on the bed. Seungmin swallowed the pills and then chugged the water, he knew he had cried a lot but he hadn’t realized just how thirsty he was. He dug through his backpack and pulled out his glasses, fuck it, he had been maimed by Changbin today the older boy could see him looking a little dorky. 

Seungmin exchanged his contacts for his thick round wireframe glasses and scooted slightly back on the bed to make room for Changbin. He pulled the sleeves of his sweatshirt over his hands to ground himself, an old habit. One he hasn’t forced himself to let go of yet.

“Okay, let’s talk” Changbin sat down on the bed so he could face Seungmin but neither of them were looking at each others eyes. 

“So you were hard” Changbin starts. Seungmin gasps indignantly

“So were you asshole!” 

“Yes, yes okay so was I” 

“Well where does that leave us?” 

“Besides hard?”

“Besides hard.”

“Well, I guess,” Changbin scratched at his neck, uncomfortable, “Why were you hard?”

“What?”

“I mean I know why I was hard, but why were you in that moment…” Changbin trailed off. 

“Excited?” Seungmin offered. 

“Yes, excited.”

“Well, why were you excited?” Seungmin countered defensively. 

“Because you were moaning like a pornstar!” Changbin blurted out, his palms spread and fell in on themselves after he said it. 

“Oh” Seungmin blushed, he hadn’t realized he had been so loud. 

“Yeah. I got hard because of the sounds you were making but how did you get turned on, weren't you in pain?”

“I guess-” Seungmin felt like his thoughts were summer bugs he couldn't catch, they were moving to fast, just out of reach. “I mean maybe the pain was part of it? I'm not really sure I guess, I mean I was also pretty much naked and no one had seen my scar and, and, and -” Seungmin felt like he was teetering on the edge of hyperventilating and losing his breath forever. Neither option sounded desirable. 

“ and?” Changbin’s eyes were wide and imploring, Seungmin felt like he could read him like a book, every part of him bared despite being more covered up than earlier. 

“And it was you” the words slipped out of his mouth full of breath, coasting on the wind. Seungmin didn’t say anything. Changbin didn’t say anything. And then he did. 

“I’m a little confused.”

“It was because it was you. I’ve only been with two guys, I swear I wasn’t lying about not being a virgin,” 

“I believe you” Seungmin searched the olders boys eyes, he found nothing but the truth. What changed?

“And the guys i’ve been with before, they’re the only ones who have seen me you know like that, and I didn’t care about either of them as much as I” a breath. A reminder. “ as much as I care about you” No going back.

“Not as friend?” Changbins voice was as rough as ever, but there was an undercurrent of uncertainty. 

“No”

“Not as an older brother?”

“No” he wanted the floor to swallow him whole. 

“Not as your annoying Changbinnie?” Seungmin laughed at that. Wetly. 

“Not annoying” Seungmin took a breath “ even when your trying to be annoying I don’t find you annoying”. Before he could stop himself Seungmin opened his mouth “are you?”

Changbin made a sound that could have been a question or could have just been a very Changbin grunt. 

“Are you _ my _ Changbinnie?” The pause that followed was so heavy, so whole, that it could have its own gravity, its own atmosphere. 

“I mean, I guess I don’t know?” Changbin looked awkward but not disgusted. 

“What do you mean?”

“We’ll I haven't thought about it super extensively?” Ouch. “No, I mean that's wrong I guess, im just not sure, there something I have to tell you first.” 

“Oh my god are you already dating someone?” This was Seungmin’s worst nightmare.

“What? No!” 

“You’re in love with someone else?”

“No I just-”

“You view me as a little brother?”

“God no I just-” 

“You’re aromantic?”

“No! I SAW YOU NAKED” Changbin was breathing heavy. Seungmin was just confused. 

“Yeah Changbin I was there. In the bath?”

“No” Changbin took a deep breath. “This is kind of fucked up, and it’s fair if you wanna like punch me after this or whatever. Strap in I guess?” His words were so ominous but the anxious crooked grin Changbin shot him still calmed him. “At the party last night.”

“I wasn't there?” Seungmin was more confused but Changbin shot him a look and he shut up. 

“At the party last night, the one you weren’t at, I was with Felix, and Jisung and Renjun and Lucas and we got talking and Jisung just so happened to bring up that he thought you were a virgin,” Seungmin tried not to react to that but he knew it showed on his face. Changbin continued. 

“And since he thought you were lying about having sex with Lucas he asked him.” 

“And?”

“And he said you sucked dick like a pornstar?” Seungmin laughed. In all of the realities he could have predicted this was not one of them. 

“Was that it?” Seungmin was a little baffled but not really offended. But Changbin only grimaced. 

“Not exactly. And then later in the night after everyone was gone we started talking again” Changbin took a breath, “I feel like it’s important to tell you I was drunk at this point. Very drunk.” The younger boy let out a laugh that was as much a note of surprise and a breath. “I was drunk and we started talking again, talking about, well about you. I said something dumb, about you and picturing it and god I sound like an asshole. God this was such an asshole move.” Changbin was rambling his words coming out almost as fast as when he rapped them. 

“So, I said that, like an asshole, and then he took out his phone. And he showed me a photo. a photo of you.” Seungmin’s world stopped. He didn’t think Yukhei would save the good morning selfies he would send him, so that meant… “You weren’t naked, you had a shirt but I mean I shouldn't have seen it.” Seungmin didn’t want to look at him. 

“And I really shouldn't have seen the video. The video of Lucas fucking you. That’s what I really shouldn't have seen. God the sounds you were making-”

“Did you like them?” Seungmin didn’t know what he was saying.

“What?”

“The sounds I was making, did they turn you on?” 

“I shouldn't have watched it, you didn’t say I could you didnt ask me-”

“Did you jerk off to it? Binnie did you think of me?” Seungmin didn’t know what he was doing but all he knew was that he was desperate. He kept thinking of Changbin not being sure. Could he convince him? “Did you think about how you’d like to fuck me? Or how I would fuck you?” Changbin choked on thin air. Seungmin leaned towards the elder without jostling his leg, “What made you uncomfortable Binnie? Was it that I didn’t know or the way it made you feel?”

“Seungminnie…” Changbin pleaded. Seungmin had half a mind to stop and he would he promised himself he would stop, he didn't want to make Changbin hate him, but first….

“How did it make you feel? How did me whining and moaning and stuffed full of cock make you feel? When you thought of me what did you think about? What was I like Changbinnie?” Something shifted in Changbin, he was looking up at Seungmin again, and then in a barely audible almost soundless voice he said:

“Under me. You were under me like in the video” Seungmin was so relieved he could cry, instead he leaned more into the rapper resting his hand on the other’s thigh.

“Go on” 

“You under me, I wanted to fuck you, I wanted to ruin you until all you can do is whine”

“Past tense?”

“I want to. I want to make you fall apart” Seungmin shivered. 

“Then do it”

So Changbin did, he pushed Seungmin’s shoulder hard so the younger fell on his back and his leg fell apart so his towel opened and his breath hitched when Changbin made himself comfortable in the space left behind leaning forward until his mouth was inches from Seungmin’s own. 

“This okay?”

“Fucking take me” 

Changbin crashed their lips together and Seungmin arched up into him and started whining as soon as Changbin put his hands on the younger’s slim waist. He grabbed him roughly rubbing the soft material of Seungmins sweatshirt into his bare skin has he pulled his tongue into his mouth sucking harshly. It feels so fucking good, Seungmin feels like a rubber band full of potential energy, like a spark, like current, and Changbin is all charge. Changbin spreads his palms, his thumbs reaching up to brush over Seungmin’s sensitive nipples and his body _ sings _. His toes curls and he instinctively stretches his legs out only to squeal when it disturbs the skin around his burn, Changbin pauses his kissing and Seungmin whines. That causes Changbin to chuckle, just a bit, and Seungmin can feel the puffs of air on his lips, he can feel his words to. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just my leg” 

“We’ll have to be careful then won’t we?” Seungmin hums against his lips and kisses him slowly sucking his lower lip into his mouth. A few minutes later, when Changbin’s thumbs are back at his nipples and Seungmin is tugging at his hair, Changbin pulls back for a minute and Seungmin wanted to chase his lips like a bee to honey, but his words were an even sweeter nectar, “the second you can put weight on your leg I want you to fuck me”, Seungmin laughed his mouth falling open into one of his open mouth smiles and Changbin laughed with him before continuing, “but right now, I just want to make you feel good, distract you from everything”

“It the least you could do really” Seungmin was already smiling “You know since you maimed me” 

“Shut up” Changbin said but he was smiling when his lips met the youngers. Changbin sucking on Seungmin’s bottom lip tugging on it before biting it. Seungmin moaned and Changbin moved down to sucking and biting at the youngers neck, Seungmin knew he was probably leaving marks but he couldn't find it in himself to care. One of Changbins hands sneaked it’s way under Seungmins sweatshirt wandering teasingly lights along his hot skin. He pinched his nipple between his fingers and bit down on Seungmin’s neck causing the younger to gasp and moan. Seungmin rocked his ass back into the elders thigh, he had been hard for what felt like ages he wanted at least some contact. Changbin pulled back to tug his shirt over his head and Seungmin’s mouth watered at his pecs, he wanted his mouth on them, he reached up with shaking hands to trace the lines of his muscle, smoothing up his chest to his deltoids and traps, following the muscles to his triceps and his biceps.

“God you’re so fucking hot” Seungmin whispered mostly to himself. Changbin laughed, Seungmin felt the way his shoulders shook with the movement. 

“Have you seen your legs?”

“What are you turned on by second degree burns now?”

“No you idiot im turned on by long lean legs and plush thighs and -” Seungmin shut him up by kissing him. He hept one hand on Changbins bicep and let the other find his waist, Changbin had one hand back to playing with his nipples, the other one this time, and the other was brushing teasingly back and forth over his hip bone. Seungmin tried to buck his hips up but the elder just kept him down with the hand on his hip, Seungmin couldn't help but whine, Changbin kept teasing him with fleeting touches that had him squirming, he was desperate for him to _ actually _ touch him.

***

Seungmin was getting desperate Changbin could tell, from the cute whines leaving his mouth and the way he was squirming searching for some sort of friction Changbin wasn't going to give him yet. God he was so cute like this, he sounded so destroyed and Changbin hadn’t even fucked him yet, it made him even more excited to. 

Next time Seungmin bucked his hips up, Changbin pressed one last peck to his lips and slipped down the younger’s body until his mouth was just inches from his member. Changbin smirked at the way Seungmin’s breath stuttered on just his new positioning alone. Changbin leaned down sucking on younger’s skin purposely avoiding the area Seungmin wanted him the most. 

Seungmin whined and tugged on the other males dark locks but Changbin continued to ignore his aching length, instead nosing at the delicate smattering of hair at the base of his dick. He sucked lightly on the skin, kissing it before moving out a bit more. He left wet open mouth kisses along Seungmins inner thighs, being mindful of his injury and focusing mostly on his good leg. He sucked hickies into the soft skin there and pulled it between his teeth, leaving a crumb trail of bite marks and hickies all over the younger males inner thighs and groin, as if he would need help finding his way again. 

Changbin wanted to lavish in the sounds Seungmin was making, they fell from his mouth freely as he wriggled underneath Changbin’s mouth’s ministrations. After a fair bit more of teasing finally Seungmin cracked. 

“Changbin” he paused to pant “Please, touch me”

“I am touching you” Changbin replied cheekily biting down yet again on the younger’s thigh. 

“Please touch me where I need it, please”

“I’m sure something could be arranged.” Changbin grabbed a throw pillow from behind Seungmin’s head and shifted to grab lube from his bedside table before settling back between Seungmin’s thighs. He poured some lube out warming it between his fingers before wrapping a tight fist around the head of Seungmin’s dick. Seungmin let out a startled moan and when he instinctively thrusted up into Changbin’s fist, the elder slipped the throw pillow under his lower back. 

Changbin watched as Seungmin squeezed his eyes shut tight and fucked up into his fist, he looked absolutely wrecked at just this, sweat beading at his hairline, his hands curled into fists and mostly covered by the ends of his sweatshirt, he didn’t know what was coming his way. 

Changbin nudged his good leg so it was tucked closer to his body and started jacking Seungmin for real, long lazy strokes that had his hips stilling and returning to the bed just in time for Changbin to run his thumb along Seungmin’s, now exposed, tight pink hole. Seungmin whimpered and then cried out when Changbin swiped at his entrance with the broad flat surface of his tongue.

Changbin continued to languidly jerk the younger as he swiped his tongue over his hole and gently sucked on the ring of muscle, he didn’t need to strain his ears to hear the noises the younger was making. 

“Ah, ah, Binnie, yes” he was rambling and Changbin found it endearing and overwhelming. Seungmin was like that, adorable sex freak, a practical level headed irrational idiot, quiet soft spoken and yet so so loud, nothing about Kim Seungmin made sense and Changbin was realizing he was kinda obsessed with that. 

Changbin moved on from playfully sucking on Seungmin’s rim to delving his tongue into him enjoying how tight the younger boy was. After a few minutes of continuing this pattern Changbin snuck a slicked up finger in along with his tongue and relished in the moans that left Seungmin’s mouth. Changbin crooked his finger forward and up Seungmin tensed his legs shooting out, the way he seemed to do when overwhelmed with pleasure, and he cried out from pain. Seungmin whimpered and then whimpered even more when Changbin pulled his tongue and face away to look at him. Changbin moved the hand from Seungmin’s length and tucked his abused leg back into a comfortable position and rubbed his knee soothingly. 

“If we’re going to do this baby you have to be careful ok?” Changbin was still slowly moving his finger in and out of Seungmin, hitting his prostate, as he spoke. 

“O-okay” Seungmin answered with stuttered uneven breaths. 

“Okay what Seungminnie?”

“I promise to be careful just please, Binnie mo-” Seungmin cut himself off with a gasp when Changbin slipped a second finger inside of him. Changbin loved the feeling of Seungmin’s tight velvety walls clenching and relaxing around his digits, it was like Seungmin was relaxed at first and then clenched to keep his fingers inside.

As Changbin stretched him open Seungmin wriggled under him stretching every which way, wiggling his hips back and forth, arching his back, tucking and extending his chin, but he kept his promise and didn’t jostle his leg anymore. He even managed to keep it still when Changbin scissored his fingers making absolutely sure there was enough room.

He reached over to the bedside table to pull out a condom, he pulled his fingers out of the younger man in order to open the condom. Seungmin whines at the loss and Changbin can't help but laugh fondly at him. 

Changbin stripped off his sweatpants. His erection was red angry from being ignored for so long so he stroked it quickly, once, twice, then ripped the condom packet open all to the tune of Seungmin’s whining.

“I thought you _ wanted _me to fuck you?” He breathed as he pinched the tip of the condom and rolled it down his length.

“I wanted you inside of me, now nothing is inside of me, do you see the problem?” Changbin chuckled, on the one hand, he couldn’t believe Seungmin was able to be snarky at a time like this, but on the other hand, he wasn’t surprised at all, what else should he have expected from Seungmin. 

“I might have a solution.” Changbin said as he lined himself up and then slowly, so slowly slid in. Seungmin clenched up about halfway and so Changbin waited until Seungmin grabbed his biceps and relaxed, to bottom out. Once there Changbin tried to breathe and focus on anything except how good and tight and _ right _Seungmin felt. He was perfectly tight but also able to relax so Changbin could move. Changbin didn't, not yet, instead he just waited fully surrounded by the younger. He stared at Seungmin’s chest still covered by the light blue sweatshirt now hiked up to reveal the youngers soft tan stomach.

Changbin didn’t know when he got so hot but he was properly sweating now, he could feel the sweat on his forehead begin to bead and drip down the side of his face. Seungmin wasn’t fairing any better especially in his hoodie but Changbin loved the sheen on his neck, he wanted to taste it. So he did. Changbin leaned down and sucked on the already bruised skin, tasting the musky sweat of the younger on his tongue, Seungmin whimpered under him, and it was from here that Changbin started fucking him. 

Changbin continued to lightly suck on the skin as he thrust in and out of Seungmin, shallowly at first given the angle but still just as sweet. Seungmin shivered and moved one hand to Changbin’s shoulder grabbing tightly. Changbin took that as a sign that he was doing okay and so he leaned back and shifted the younger's hips slightly up so he could hit him from a different angle and it was good. It was more than good, it was spectacular, it was mind-blowing it was world ending. It was Kim Seungmin. 

From this angle, Changbin could get so much deeper and when he canted his hips forward just right Seungmin cried out like he had been punched, the steady stream of whimpers coming from him turned high pitch moaning and little yelps of pleasure when Changbin would bottom out. 

“Mmm so vocal for me” Changbin praised, stroking up and down Seungmin’s good thigh. Seungmin didn’t respond immediately, he looked flushed and flustered and a mess and it made Changbin break out in a smug smile. 

“Think you can make me scream?” and god if Changbin didn’t love a challenge. He grabbed onto the younger boys hips and started picking up the pace, going fast but trying not to jostle him too much. He was trying to be careful of Seungmin’s leg but it was making him cautious, too cautious, and Seungmin could tell. 

“Just fuck me like you want to” Seungmin whined, “Please I'm not going to break, please I want you” and that was the last straw. 

Changbin slammed into Seungmin with new vigor, all force and speed, moving not just his own hips but Suengmins too so the younger’s was being pushed and pulled up and down the mattress to be impaled by Changbin’s cock. 

Seungmin was certainly getting louder, not screaming (yet) but louder, but Changbin couldn't remain silent anymore grunting roughly every time he thrusted into the younger, not just from the force and effort he was exerting but also how good it felt. Seungmin was tight and hot and so so sensitive, it made Changbin feel big and in control, in a way he hadn’t felt maybe ever with another partner. 

Seungmin was getting close Changbin could tell, even without him touching it the younger’s cock was flushed and beading thick drops of precum, pressing against his soft stomach but he hadn't made Seungmin scream yet. He had to kick it up a notch. Changbin grabbed one of his legs and threw it over his shoulder and it was good he could get deeper and Seungmin was even louder, so without thinking he grabbed the other leg harshly above the knee and put it on his shoulder and slammed into Seungmin, hitting his prostate dead on. Three things happened in rapid succession: 

  1. Seungmin _screamed_ like really screamed.
  2. Changbin realized his hand was clenched around gauze and medical tape. 
  3. Seungmin came all over his sweatshirt. 

Changbin immediately snatched his hand back but the damage had already been done. Seungmin’s eyes were clenched tight weather from pain or pleasure Changbin didn’t know, all he knew was the delicious way Seungmin’s walls were clenching around him as he came. Changbin grabbed onto Seungmin’s hand squeezing it trying to focus on Seungmin under him and not the warmth on his dick, but when Seungmin squeezed his hand back and moaned high sweet Changbin took it as a sign to continue fucking him. He didn't last long, after two, three more thrusts he was releasing into the condom leaning over Seungmin, one hand still in his, panting.

“Are you okay?” Changbin whispered into the space between them 

“I don’t think I've ever come that hard” Suengmin whispered back, he smiled big and bright when it made Changbin laugh. He pulled out and tied the condom off but still leaned into Seungmin’s space. 

“Who knew Kim Seungmin was such a little painslut” Seungmmin whacked Changbin’s chest lightly and then looked down at his own chest and grimaced. 

“Well, this sweatshirt is ruined” 

“Here borrow one of mine” Changbin stood and walked over to his dresser, pulling out an old white t-shirt for Seungmin and basketball shorts for himself, and grabbed two pairs of boxers from the top drawer. He tossed Seungmin the shirt and a pair of boxers and put his own clothes on. 

“What? I don’t get pants?” Changbin was grateful he was still putting on the shorts because it let him hide his blush. 

“I thought we should let your burn have air” Changbin responded aiming for nonchalant hitting somewhere slightly off target. 

“Sure thing perv” Seungmin said but there was no bite to his words. Seungmin slipped into the boxers wriggling a little on the bed to get it up without touching his burn. Changbin turned away when Seungmin went to take off his sweatshirt, choosing instead to stare at the wall. 

“Turn around” Seungmin said a moment later, Changbin expected him to have finished putting on his new shirt but instead Seungmin was bare, his scar on full display. It was beautiful. 

“So gorgeous” Changbin couldn't help but mumble to himself as he looked at the tan expanse of Seungmins torso and chest. Gently sloping shoulders, leading to delicate collarbones and a flat chest with small brown nipples and just the barest dusting of hair. And of course, the scar. It was shockingly white against the skin but smooth no jagged edges just a clean white line a little longer than Changbin’s own hand skating down the younger’s chest. Changbin wanted to trace it. With his mouth. 

Changbin took a small step closer and looked at Seungmin for approval. He nodded slowly and Changbin came closer. Settling in front of the younger boy he gently held his fingers on the mark, his fingers ghosting across the scar. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the start of it, and Seungmin’s breath hitched. He covered the whole thing in kisses, quick, pecks until Seungmin tugged him back, smiling but looking confused. 

“Perfect” Changbin whispered. Seungmin pulled him in for a kiss. 

“Thank you” Seungmin whispered after he broke the kiss. He put his forehead and Changbin’s shoulder. “Thank you”

“I was just telling the truth” Changbin replied rubbing the younger’s back. Seungmin pulled back and put the shirt on and giggled when Changbin whined. Then he tried to shift his leg and winced. 

“You sure you okay?”

“I’ll live.” 

“Would an ice pack help?” 

“Maybe” Changbin returned a minute later with a bag of frozen spinach wrapped and a couple of paper towels. He handed it to Seungmin and then sat next to him. He wasn’t sure if he could cuddle him. He settled for sitting close enough to press their shoulders together. 

“Thanks for the icepack ”

“Thanks for forgiving me for burning you” 

“Thanks for carrying me when I couldn’t walk” 

“Thanks for forgiving me for looking at your scar”

“Thanks for not being weirded out for my scar”

“Thanks for forgiving me for watching your sex tape”

“Thanks for fucking me” They both crack up. Seungnin is laughing high and nasally and clapping his hands together and Changbin can feel tears prick at his own vision, he can feel the laughter hitting him in the diaphragm and bubbling up, suspending his breath and making him wheeze. Seungmin was so beautiful when he laughed Changbin couldn’t help but stare. Seungmin caught him of course, and held the eye contact and smiled wide and lights with laughter still curving his eyes. Changbin felt warm all over. 

“Hey Seungmin,” Seungmin quirked his head and Changbin continued “You wanna go out sometime?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha what?  
No one asked for this to be so long or for me to give Seungmin a second degree burn, and trust me im just as confused as you are.  


**Author's Note:**

> PSA [CONTRIBUTE PLEASE BLM](https://moreblminfo.carrd.co/)
> 
> Come talk to me!  
Twitter: @translixie  
CuriousCat: translixie


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